You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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