Can Purell be used as lube?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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