grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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