I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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