..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
