Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
