i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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