he shaved USA in his pubs
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
