awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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