So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
