i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
