Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
