Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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