guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
