Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
