He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
