Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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