I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
