Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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