I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize