i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
