I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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