Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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