East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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