You work out of a Hotel?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize