Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
