the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize