Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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