I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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