she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
