the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
