This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
