I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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