dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
