They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
