I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
