i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
