So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
