dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
