chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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