is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
