My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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