I only kidnapped one of them. chill
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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