perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
