Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
