Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
