Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
