Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
