belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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