This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
