I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
