dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
