the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
