I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
