peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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