you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
