You just made me feel so damn special
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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