the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
