I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
