dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
