omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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