Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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